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It was clear to me that he wasn’t really that interested in a serious thing with any of the girls at the bar that night. But why the cold shoulder, from a brother I’d never met?Why the unique snub reserved for the one fat girl in the crew?But what I call thick and what the average brother calls thick is not the same thing. (Sister looks fabulous, by the way.) Not quite Gabourey Sidibe thick. And when I was doing the online dating thing (I’ve tried it twice, and I’m taking a break) I saw one brother that specifically said, “I’m not into the Mo’Nique thing, ladies.” Translation: No fat girls need apply.

I have thought long and hard about my relationship to food (and exercise), and I have started to make some changes in order to remain healthy.

The idea that we’re only attractive within a range of sizes is absurd. The homeboy of one of my homegirls happened to be in the club. My homegirl indicated to me at some point that I should make sure to meet him, because she thought we’d have similar interests.

Not one to be shy, I did at some point attempt to strike up a conversation. I mean he literally didn’t look me in the eye, made no real attempt at conversation, and pretty much gave me the brush off.

Those stories ring hollow, because they ultimately amount to a futile attempt to amass enough exceptions to disprove the rule.

Moreover, perhaps folks aren’t considering that the partner-less fat girls simply remain invisible to you, and the thick girls with guys are visible, precisely because they are an anomaly.

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